what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
