Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize