i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
