# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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