she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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