Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm always down for nudity.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
