Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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