i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize