She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
