Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
