I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize