Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
