i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
