i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
