if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
