You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
