You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
