i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
