I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
