Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
