i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ladies don't puke and tell
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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