It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
