evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
