I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
