im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
