i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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