bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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