what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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