This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
