Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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