that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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