bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
