I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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