You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
