Don't make out with my wife yet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
