I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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