watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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