My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
