She's JV to your varsity
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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