So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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