I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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