It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
