Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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