tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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