Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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