but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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