We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Blood and glitter go together right?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize