Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
