Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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