im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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