i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
