it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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