your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
