Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize