its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize