stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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