I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
my poor anus
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
