she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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