I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
