I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
