I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
