I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
