I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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