she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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