NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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